I believe i wont die so easily.

18th august 2011- its already 1 year i worked with MRCentre Sdn Bhd. time passes so fast...but i feel so lost suddenly..dont know wanna express to who..just can luah it out here...okay..it has been a long story in this 1 year...i have try looking in many things...go for insurance exam to get a license...hmmm..go for many career talk....and i joined tokio marine...but its hard for me..i have try to met many kind of ppl..but i just cant sell 1...its so hard...maybe its my problem...or my luck is destined to be like that..so what also wont go smoothly....and i join my kai kor fizer doing network marketing...1st i am very semangat wan...but...haiz...i know its my problem...
i have already resign here..and plan to do full time in my NM...but i feel scare and worry sometimes...because i have alotsa comitment..and i still havent give pocket $$ to my family..i felt that i am so useless..sometimes i feel i have no one to talk to..dont have a bf..loolz...imma love failure?? my problem also la...lolz..sometimes i feel so lost and helpless...i feel so weak...i am all alone...but i really need to be strong...i noe i must depend on my own in everything and no one with me no one help me...my family and kaikor anly can give moral support...i know!! so i must be strong!!! and i believe i wont die so easily!!

serena's limitation~

actually...i have my own limitation...i dont like ppl that i close with step over my head without realise it...i will think of what is my fault if i really make that whoever person angry...but sumtimes i cant think of any reason....so now i dont really trust ppl especially very very close to me...i also wont forget words that they used to step me down...harsh...i will never forget...

i also will never wanna rely on comfort zone i used to....never..because it was actully danger zone...

i am who i am...i wont care whatever ppl says about me anymore...

i will fight for my future...i live for myself..

.......

Its Sunday morning......and i feel like blogging...had a really hard feeling...

I tought it's over...i wont think about it again...but when i am in my hometown...i keep thinking about last year CNY...and what's that...MSN SMS with .....asking me when i am coming bek...then asking me what should eat...

When i am on my way bek...i think the moment when we bek from malacca to KL...my heart suddenly so 'sour'...i know i cant tel anyone hw i feel..ppl will think i am weird...it happen alrealy long time ago and its over...but...i am such a idiot thinking things that is useless...

When the TV is showing the PINK PANTER chinese movie..hmm dunno what is the name..rainie and show lo was the main...i listen to those song...i think again...

and i think again...it's imposible to talk to him like last time...it's imposible to msg him whenever i feel like...its imposible i am in his mind even a lil bit...

Yea...i told myself i have already get over...but sometimes i just cant figure out why...i just miss the old feelings....but nothing last forever...

watching people around me all one pair one pair getting together...i feel so ...... i dont want to be with someone that dont give me that feel that .....gave me b4...i just cant...

its lunch time and i feel like blogging~

Just feel like blogging...many things in my mind...hmmm..okay~ i just gt back from kelantan...doing some event as my part time for weekends...i will be going to outstation for some event job to gain some experience...and i am thinking to quit my job in mrcentre here, i feel lifeless working in the office, sit in the office...doing these job...i am not belong to this...i want to move around meet new people do events be more active and not doing the same thing in office everyday with 2000 per month...what can i do with this much of $$...

While working in Kelantan, i meet my bro,Kevin...he told me to have a look with many things that can bring benefits to me in this word.. such as forex, tokio marine insurance thingy, and many many more...he say if i forever work for ppl..makan gaji...when i reach certain age i will regret...and ya i am thinking and start to make some move edy...i will follow his brother to have a look in tokio marine thingy...

sometimes, its better to remain silent..i know when i sound out...things wont be settle...i dont feel like mentioning some other matter that pissed me off..ya..i gt my limit..so its better to just dont bother and dont care about things tht i tough it is meanful and important to me anymore because all ppl are selfish...only my own family is not..no point i hold things to tight...

what i will do now?? i will take this year to look around...look at direct sales...mlm those kind of things...just look around and gain more wilder knowledges as what my bro told me...one day..i can change what i am having now..i hope i can do it, i just dont want to say only...i hope i can do it...even though i have no one now....i mean no one that i can be trusted anymore...i will depends on my ownself to achieve what i want...

But i feel like change to event company than staying in this place...i just dont know...once i change, i dont have time even for myself..need to work on some weekends as well..need to work until late midnight...but this is what i want...at least i am bz and wont be emo-ing always...hmmm hmmm....