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Until 2day..already 1 month after he said that to me...i still feel he is not like that...i still wonder who is in his heart...he like who?? i dont think he is a playboy..i keep viewing his fb everyday..i hate myself..i damn fucking hate myself..why i cnt put down him...why??? he dont even care about me..why i cant...i feel so suffer..no matter what happen how he hurt me..drag me for so long...in that 9 months..when he find me a bit i feel so happy...when he care me abit i felt so damn fucking happy...i am satisfy if he just care me abit..but why he a little bit also cant..if he dont like me why he wanna give me hope...why he wanna go malacca wit me...why he wanna do all those...i dont understand..i really dont understand...i fucking hate myself now,..i fucking hate it!!! i dont know why GOD make us meet each other...why i meet a stone...human that look like a stone...he seems like what also dont want to care...i dont know why i see so big different in him...last time he is not like that....i dont know why!!!!! he dint even take a little action to find me back even as a normal friend...i dont understand why he can be so cruel....

Happy Mooncake Festival.

Happy Mooncake festival!! had lotsa fun with my precious ji muiss..really lucky to have u gals~

Its gonna reach 5.30pm..i hope as day by day..i will be better than b4..i hope i will not think of him whenever i wake up..mind not heavy..no more emo...time please past fast abit..i know as time past i will heal..all i need is time...but now..i am still in the process..i know i can do it..

I promise to myself..i will never mention about you again, I must forget you. Everytime i recalled all the sweet and good memories we beed thru before even we are not lovers..we never start to be couple before, but you know the msg u send me on 28th aug is very very painful. It has been more than 3 weeks already..but i am still crying whenever i am alone..acting like nothing has been happen between us is very very very painful for me. You dont know, in these 8 months, whenver i feel our gap is getting farer, i will look thru our picture and listen to songs that related to make our gap get closer back. Those past 3 months working in Low Yat, i am hoping everyday so that i can get the chance to see you even from far. I have tried my best not to call or sms because i am afraid you might feel i am annoyed..i am very care about that..so everyday i m just waiting waiting and waiting..whenever you call me i am happy, whever you text me in fb and ask me to go find things to fill my tummy i feel so happy. A little care from you,i am already very satisfy. But when i saw some post from you in facebook, i feel so confused, worry. afraid, scared, thinking thinking and thinking..i am so afraid when i thinbk that you have already fall for another..so i am so lost..i have make a decision to ask b4 31st aug. But..b4 i ask everything, u have already tell me that you are a playboy and dont wait again..at least if i know you fall for other gal i will hurt but i know u were real to me b4 in those past memories..but..it make me think that u were actually treat it as a game...you dont know how painful..really very painful..i swear i wont trust and believe in love anymore..this world is so cruel and scary..