5/10/10

today, while driving to work...i keep thinking thinking and thinking...issit because of my attitude problem he dont want me...because some how i feel last time we have got the chance..then maybe certain thing i post in fb make him 'fan gam' me...maybe he felt that i am so scary and annoyed...but after that i also think that if he really want me..he wont drag me so long...he wont make me suffer n hurt me..actually i really not desperate want to have a bf..if i am really desperate i would have be together with the guy that go after me when i am working in Low Yat...is because of the feelings i met with this guy..but why is him..i dont understand why...what does his mental thinking about...i really wanted to know badly...when he send that last msg to me...he dont feel anything at all..he dont consider about what i feel...he abit also dont care about what i face n feel..the cruelity...even now...he can act like normal....without me even as a friend also he dont care...abit value of me in him also dont have??? but why after i do so many things for him...why he dont feel it at all..why he so cold blood...why he dont even care to wanna know about me at all..why....
before this...i wait for him to find me..to text me n call me..i wont do so is because i am afraid he might feel i am annoyed..i really care about what he feels and think about me so much...when he call me a while...when he care me abit...i am really happy...when he dont i feel upsad and down...in that period being hang i am so suffer..i keep waiting waiting and waiting...i remember he send me a song called 'ai yu bu ai' and that songs means alot to me...but now...why he so cruel...i never do this kind of stuff for a guy b4...he is the 1st....even i said i like my bestfriend b4..that wan is just like..and we never been thru so many things b4...but me n this guy different...me n him gt many memories that is very meaningful to me...why...because i treasure him...but why he treated me like shit...
yesterday b4 i sleep, finally i blocked his fb...and i decide to never unblock again..because...sometimes things happen i wanted to know so badly..but what is the point after i noe..wont bring me good things also....i might become more suffer...