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yesterday, when i out to yumcha with one of my babe..siew qi...sooo long never meet her since the microsoft job...then i went to her hse to fetch her...because she was one of his friend also...and she did mention about him...when i listen his name..again my heart 'PAK!!!!!' what the hell...lolz...she said he edy bought his new car...and also...she did mention...gt once they wanna go club but he did not want to go because he know muh friend gt go and in her eyes he is a bad guy...when i know..i am speechless...maybe he will think that i talk bad about him infront of mine n his friend also....i dont know what he think...or maybe himself think that he very bad now...maybe he felt bad...i dont know...i just know,things happen like this..i also dont want it to be...maybe is my fault...i just feel like saying thousand of sorry to him...i make him feel himself very bad....

i just feel like wanna message him and say, i am sorry for what i did...things happen i also dont want it to be...and sometimes i really cant control my emotional...i know i gt attitude problem that causing some irritation to him...i know after that thing happen...he might feel 'fan' or maybe not at all...i dont know also...i know i had text him in my last msg and say i wont msg o col o find him anymore...but i just feel like saying sorry to him and say that he is not a bad person...he is not...he just too kind until dont know how to reject...and treat people vr good, maybe in this matter he dont know how to handle.. i just cannot accept the reason he gave me that day oni...if he say other reason i ok de!! now things seems like he is a bad guy...i reli dont know how to settle this...i very not 'an xing'...i know we are impossible...i know ntg worth to think anymore...i just dont want him to feel uncomfortable by thinking people might think he is bad or what so ever...how.......should i do something........i dont want this to happen......